as what they do.
- When a child gets an eye test and gets dilated with drops, they take longer to come out of it. When a doctor asks you ‘do you have the time, shall we do it now?’, you need to know that it takes a minimum of 45 mins to 1.5 hours to just be done. And that your child may not be able to read for almost a day and a half after.
- That certain eye drops can actually cause epilepsy. Not an issue normally (with my heightened awareness, this seems to matter, even if my child is not prone to seizures) but if you know your child has a low epileptic threshold, then an eye test’s drops are significant! I wouldn’t have connected the two! Would you?
- That bad handwriting can be an indicator of less than appropriate fine motor skills. It is okay to be cool about handwriting but if it looks like your child has pretty poor handwriting, it is important to check posture, grip of pencil, force used to write (if the impression is seen a few pages down, the child is trying too hard). This is an easy fix with copy writing, some exercises that get a child to walk on a straight line with one foot directly in front of the other, hand strengthening exercises, etc. It doesn’t have to be ‘work’ and can be fun – pottery together, writing together, etc.
- That working memory underlies all our work. One of those things that you don’t value until you notice someone not having enough. Son’s working memory is weak. This means he forgets something on the way to doing it, if he sees something else that distracts. Yes, children will be children and all but when it is more than a child being a child (taking age and gender into account….say what you will, boys are different!), intervention is required. And possible and available. There’s no one to tell you this though.
So when I get the ‘over’ parenting label this time, I shall welcome it with glee. You see, it was this reading up and understanding that got me capable of asking useful questions. This effort was required to request tests that are over and above regular norms. Even doctors seem to do what it takes to keep parents in their comfortable zones of ‘denial’. And when something gets found in this test – non-invasive but fricking difficult to get a child to go through as it required, my ‘over’ parenting soul is happy. Not because it is about my ego getting satisfied in a ‘I said so’ way but because we might be closer to a solution for this little child who has gone through much more than most of us have in a lifetime. And is still trying. And enthu and interested in doing more, being there and working to excel.
What would you say of a child who started out with only one word a minute on a kid’s typing skills computer set up and got to 12 words a minute after working at it for 45 minutes? He focused and worked away. If it takes over-parenting to find him this avenue to improve more than just typing (attention, memory, focus, fine motor skills were targeted…otherwise why do kids need typing in any case?!), then it shall be ‘over’ until it gets to ‘balance’.
The point is always to find that balance between anxiety that hinders and help that actually helps. At no point is ‘do nothing and chill’ in the face of an issue helpful. Yes, seize the day, enjoy the moments, don’t get too caught up in the mechanics of it and the fears that paralyze but please, DO what is required. That a child needs a boost now is nothing to be ashamed of…whether it is academics or physical ability or behaviour. If they were perfect, they wouldn’t be children. Or human.
